Guest Blogger Dr. Robyn Alley-Hay Shares Her Experience

Dear colleagues, I know you have seen these questions:

Do you currently have any physical or mental impairment that could limit your clinical practice?
Are you currently taking any medication?
Have you ever been hospitalized for any reason?
Have you ever been hospitalized for, or diagnosed with, a psychiatric disorder to include substance abuse?

Ugh! I hate, hate, HATE these questions! “It is none of their business,” or at least that is what I told myself over the years. Am I a good doctor or a bad doctor? Am I a fraud or a hero? These are the questions I ask myself. These are the questions that play in a loop in my head as I carry the hidden shame of depression for the majority of my career.

I guess I didn’t see myself as having a psychiatric disorder, even though I was suicidal. At least this is what I told myself. Denial is powerful. I resisted adequate treatment because it was an embarrassment at best, and, in my mind, humiliating. I had to admit I was just as human as everyone else (lay people, civilians, the non-doctors, that is). I always considered myself a “normal control” when studying disease and chronic illness in medical training. “I was so normal,” I told myself. “What happened to me?”

These were my thoughts, as I drove through the mountains. Driving away from my life, literally. I kept telling myself, “How can this be happening?” “Why can’t I keep it together?” I drove, speeding around slick and icy mountain curves, trying my best not to give in to the strong urge to drive off the road. It would be so easy. It would be such a relief. I looked straight ahead, as I shook, my knuckles white as I held the steering wheel steady. There was a mesmerizing pull of the sharp mountain curves. Each curve beckoned me to end it all.

I survived that drive, but it was not a relief. Days later, I was still overworked, stressed, crispy-fried, and isolated in my own thoughts. I found myself sitting in the middle of the countryside. It was dark. It was cold. I had a sterile scalpel (like if I was going to end it, I would need a sterile instrument). Feeling my pulse at my left wrist, “1, 2, 3 stab!” Pause. “Wow, that really hurt!” I was actually surprised that it hurt because I had been feeling so numb, detached, shut down. Maybe I was alive? The relief of physical pain diminished the emotional pain for a second; a brief second to change my mind. That jolt of pain brought me to the realization that it was cognitive distortion telling me I was a horrible mother and horrible doctor; that I was a burden; not worthy of living. “This is f**cked up thinking, not my real thoughts,” Finally, out of my numbness and fog, I chose to live.

The realities of getting the rest and help I needed came with consequences. Forevermore in my medical career, I had to make a decision when answering those dreaded questions. Should I lie? I decided to lie. I lied. Please insert more shame here. Oh, and here for every time I had to answer those questions thereafter.

In preparing to write this piece, I asked a lawyer if I would be at legal risk. “That is a risk you will have to decide,” he answered. Well, that is reassuring! In the end, I decided that I have had enough of hiding this part of myself. I’ve had enough of worrying myself sick with past and present thoughts like, “What if I have a bad outcome, or get sued, and it comes out that I was hospitalized and treated for depression in the past? Will I be discovered if a patient or coworker files a complaint? Will the hospitals want me if they knew the truth? What if they sue? What if the malpractice insurance company refuses to cover me?” The “what ifs” are endless.

If I didn’t lie on the applications, I would not have been able to return, to be hired – or gone on to become a better physician for having admitted I was a mere human. The alternative was disclosing a complicated and painful story and having to carry it around everywhere I went – like Sisyphus and his boulder, constantly having to push it uphill. The alternative was release of my personal medical history to boards, administration, and physicians I worked with every day. The alternative was monitoring by a physician health program (who report directly to the board involved, and make money by recommending the treatment that they conveniently provide).

How humiliating that would have been – to have to tell my whole medical and psycho-social history everywhere I went. Really? Why? Is it really necessary in the name of patient safety? Do we really have to be super-human and perfect? I proved that you just have to look that way with your colleagues, administrators, and state boards. This is the best kept open secret that we couch in “burnout,” “moral injury,” “compassion fatigue.” How can we prevent the increasing number of physician suicides if we don’t start telling the truth?

I am at a place, in my happy and healthy life, where I can share freely – perhaps others will follow. You are not alone. Through Dr. Pamela Wible, I have met many competent, capable, formerly suicidal physicians. This is for them. This is for those that may be feeling shame, or isolating themselves while pretending all is well.

Fraud? Hero? Funny, I don’t even care. Writing this is a risk, but I do it for all the doctors struggling today, and in memory of the thousands of doctors who have died by suicide. There but for the grace of God, go I.

One last note: The American Disabilities Act agrees that unless there is current impairment, to paraphrase … “It is none of their business!”

Robyn Alley-Hay is an obstetrician-gynecologist and can be reached at her self-titled site, Dr. Robyn Alley-Hay.

Call me Dr. Golden Goose

According to a 2019 Managed Healthcare Executive survey, consumer experience slotted in the number one priority spot, collectively followed by: improved data analytics, market growth, talent acquisition, new service innovation, health plan innovation, and operational efficiency.

Where the hell is Physician Wellness????

Physician wellness in 2019 MUST be a top priority, hands down, no questions asked, threat level midnight!

But it's not by incorporating more yoga and mindfulness. (Yes, there is a lot of personal healing/self-development that needs to be done to help physicians on an individual level with the trauma of simply being as a physician.)

But it's so much greater.

I call for a total fundamental shift in organizational mindset/culture. Because remember, health/wellness is not simply the absence of disease. 

The story "The Goose and the Golden Egg" comes to my mind I think of the roles of administrators dealing with "productive" physicians. Remember, the farmer in the story profits greatly each morning from his golden goose. But being impatient with just the one, reliable golden egg daily, he kills his goose and finds nothing.

Organizations must stop demanding more production and simply start caring for and protecting their greatest assets, their people...their physicians who every day show up and deliver a quality egg.

We can't give what we don't have and most docs are stretched beyond the breaking point.  So, protect your people because a happy, purpose-filled doctor will be a higher quality team member.

And hey, throw this grey goose a little more corn some time!

My Physician Life Coaching Eat. Pray. Love. Journey Part 4

During this Eat. Pray. Love Journey, I was recently driving to Indianapolis. As I was driving, I caught a great podcast episode on Weight Loss for Busy Physicians by Katrina Ubell MD (Link HERE). She presented a worksheet that she had found from years ago. I loved the idea and so I tweaked and adjusted it then made a protocol! Because who doesn’t love a good protocol (am I right or what?!?)

So, there’s my guide on what to do when nothing is going right and you feel like shit! Not only do I think this was a great idea…it has been personally tested!! Over the past 2 months, I literally have been keeping this list next to my desk and referring to it often during this Physician Life Coaching Eat. Pray. Love. Journey.

I hope that it can be helpful to you. Let me know if you try it out and it does/doesn’t work.

As always…I got your back!

EIA&INOK Protocol (1).png

Wanna talk in person about this or stuff going on with you? I would freaking love to…CLICK HERE to get scheduled for a call or email me directly at

My Physician Life Coaching Eat. Pray. Love. Journey Part 3

You ever not show up to work? Nope, me either…until last month.

On February 13, I logged out of my virtual telemed practice and didn’t log back in until this past week in March (March 18 to be exact). I didn’t show up for work for over 4 weeks. Holy Shit!

I gave up, I was defeated and down. By what, IDK. I have no specific precipitating event that so repulsed me that I couldn’t bring myself to come back.

Each day, I would walk down to my home office in the basement. Sit at my computer. Shake my shoulders out, stretch my carpal tunnel prone wrists and be like, “Ok * whew* today’s the day. Gonna see patients. Gonna make money. Gonna do this.”

Then this nasty, crawly, repulsive sensation from deep down side would swell up. It made me want to puke, scratch my eyes out and run back to bed.

“Nope. Nope. Nope. Not today.” I would click out of the screen and move on to other work within my coaching business, network with colleagues, do my coaching sessions, etc. No ick with at; I could do all my other work BUT not telemed.

Before you say it (cuz I know you are thinking it), no one wronged me. No bad outcome occurred. Nothing that would suggest this was coming. I just couldn’t do it.

Craig was just baffled (God love him), “What do you mean ‘you just can’t do it"‘?!?” He has a 10,000 gallon tank of patience and I juiced every ounce of it, I’m sure.

I’ve always been a person to “power through” or “put my head down and go.” But I had made a decision about a year ago, that I no longer was going to think and act like that. So this time, I stopped and listened.

Because, actually, I’ve felt like this before…not wanting to start my day or follow through on a committee, activity, event because of the nasty, crawly repulsion coming up.

You want to know the difference this time? How I worked through this? Well, here you go…

I gave myself permission to quit.

No questions asked. No guilt. I literally told myself, “I know you are struggling right now. The struggle hurts but it doesn't mean you are failing. You hear that?!?!? Yes, this is hard and you can quit at anytime! Let me say it again... You can change your mind, quit and go in a different direction AT ANY TIME. You are not stuck.”

Clarity: I clearly my own situation for what it really is.

Perfectly imperfect.

I didn’t have to have all the answers right in that moment. I gave myself permission to see clearly without being critical. These were then my thoughts, “Life really is ok. I am ok. I am capable. I am still a compassionate doctor even if I never see another patient in my life. I am a life coach who makes a huge ass impact.”

courage: I courageously Stopped

Never before in my life have I had the ability to pause. Intention or luck (I’m not 100% sure) but I now have the space built into my schedule and also within myself to be like, “Ok, you not going to do that. That’s alright. When you are ready to come out of hiding in the closet, I’ll be here waiting. I’m not going away. I’m not going to judge. I’m not going to make you.”

confidence: I regained my confidence by working on my thoughts

I was pretty defeated and felt like I had no wind in my sails. So using some self-coaching and checking in with myself regular, I finally realized…this sensation I was feel is not about the specific thing I’m doing. It’s what shows up in my body when something is off or out of alignment.

I had been doing telemed with the purpose of it being the backup for when my coaching business failed.

Through some deep coaching, I was able to identify why I was freaked out and got the repulsive feeling. Here’s the condensed version of my thought stream, “The coaching business has been slow so I must be a failure and I have to do more telemed.”—— “If I do more telemed than that means I’m giving up on my dream of being a life coach.”——— “I’m 100% not giving up on my dream, so therefore I can’t do telemed.”

See how totally off base that was but yep, that was my brain!

My ‘not showing up to work’ really didn’t have a damn thing to do with telemed. It was about my thoughts/internal struggle that came up that I attached to doing telemed, then believing those thoughts to be total truth and making it out to be something it wasn’t.

(This is where the confidence comes in) I had to shift my mindset from ‘either/or’ and ‘if I’m doing this thing, than I’m a failure in that thing’ to recognizing and believing that telemed is just another aspect to my entrepreneurial life. I am a bomb ass life coach and clinical physician.

Community: I reached out for help

During this, I reached out. A few years ago, I embraced that I needed to reach out for help early and often, not waiting until shit was going to hit the fan. Seeing help as a source of strength rather than a weakness. I spoke openly to friends, colleagues, other physician life coaches about my struggle that I had been having. Though no one really had my answer (because I had to find that within myself), it did make a huge difference, challenged me to remember my why and gave me the ability to seek clarity, courage and confidence.

So all in all, I “got back on the horse” and I’m back, baby. Things are going so much more smoothly. And it just shows, it really is a journey. Just when you think you have it all figured out, it’s time to get your thoughts straight again. And, hey, on the plus side, I have a new, really cool model to help work through issues.

I’m calling it…

The 4 C’s

Clarity - Courage - Confidence - Community

More to come on this in the future. But just a tidbit…ask yourself, “Where do I need more clarity in this situation? What do I need to approach with courage? Where have I lost confidence? Who do I need to reach out to?”

Hope this helps you as much as it did me.

Wanna talk in person about this or stuff going on with you? I would freaking love to!! CLICK HERE to get scheduled for a call or email me directly at

Next week is part 4 of My Physician Life Coaching Eat. Pray. Love. Journey where I will talk about what to do when everything is awful and I feel like shit. My guide on what to do (and personally tested through the experience above. Cheers!)

My Physician Life Coaching Eat. Pray. Love. Journey Part 2

The scale I’ve been using about being self-employed entrepreneur, life coach, free agent doctor on this Eat. Pray. Love. Journey ranges from “total and utter bliss” to “absolutely scared shitless.” Let me explain.

On the Bliss Side

I no longer wake up before dawn to start my day, run frantically to get out the door only to be late no matter how early I start. With this new venture, I truly became the keeper of my schedule, soooo A-MAZING! I remember the first morning staying in bed until 7am, fixing breakfast for team Weisman on a weekday (WHAAATT…I know), and actually getting a good workout in that wasn’t rushed or half-assed followed by a relaxing shower all in the same morning. Who knew this actually existed?!!?!!

Now, I make lunch dates with friends just to catch up, go to networking events and never once look at my phone to check the time so “I can get back to start afternoon clinic.” Don’t get me wrong, I still have to keep a schedule but the schedule is mine!

No more panicked rush out the door to pick up the kids because daycare is closing. I now close up my day in plenty of time knowing that I can come back to it later.

No more calling in to-go dinner orders because there’s no groceries at home and/or being too tired/stressed/frazzled/fatigued to even think about cooking. I now weekly grocery shop, have an idea on what the menu will be and take time to prep and cook PLUS enjoy it.

No more fighting through the 2 mountains of clothes; dirty on one side, the clean yet not folded and piled in baskets on the other. Daily, we do a load then set a time to get them folded.

No more spending more time with my staff and colleagues than my own family. Don’t get me wrong, I have loved most of the people I have worked with. I just want the majority of hours spent with my husband and children. I can say now that I truly interact with each member in my household in a positive, loving role. (Because honestly before, I was just in “keep you fed, clean and alive” mode as a mom.)

Seriously ya’ll this is the shit sometimes!

On the Scared Shitless End

Let’s talk on the flip side. I have had to TOTALLY get out of my comfort zone. As an employed physician, you just sit at your office/department and the people just roll in and show up. Not so much in the life coaching world.

Not. at. all.

Daily, I make direct contact with real people, networking online, release a weekly newsletter (which you are reading right now, love you for that btw), record, edit, and produce my podcast for twice monthly releases, go to live events, speak at events, get on Zoom or the phone for discovery calls, give away free coaching to colleagues, following up with anyone and everyone I can and try to send as many thank yous as possible. I feel like I'm doing "all the things" but my conversation rate (the people decide to work with me) is less than 1%!

That’s been really hard odds to live with coming from a super achiever who has her whole life been 95% and above. I have heard “no” and “not at this time” from my business offers than from my 2 year old sassy pants daughter. Rejection sucks! Even more so when your income is tied to it.

The silver lining

But even with all the NOs and this having been super hard, I can share the silver lining. You know that 1% I told you about who have become my coaching clients. Well, they are fuckin’ rockstars! They have all had amazing results:

  • Several have quit a job they hated and are transitioning to something better. Even if the exact plans are not yet set, they believe and know it will come.

  • Others have modified their positions and now life is more sustainable.

  • They have started to see their career in a new light…one of possibility and hope instead of dread and life-sucking.

  • They have launched into the beginning stages of a new business that lights them up so much they just want to squeak with excitement.

  • They have dove in deep in their business to new avenues.

  • They have conquered some battles and dysfunction in their home lives that has changed the trajectory of their entire life.

  • Many are now living out their dreams instead of dreaming of their lives.

It’s pretty amazing really. It’s magic really…and I got to be a part of it.

The Whole Point of this

I hope from my super honest and transparent story, you see I’m all in to help transform your life like I have transformed my own! I don’t just post online rainbows and unicorns and act like this isn’t hard. I’m walking my talk. If I am coaching others to jump, I’m jumping first. If I tell others to live big and dream bigger then I have to eat my own damn words and DO IT!

Guys, I’m doing it and the highs have been super high and the lows…well, they have been tough. Even through it all, I would do it again. Each day, I have to decide to stay on this Eat. Pray. Love. Journey to keep living outside the box that was my previous life or to get back in the box and shut the lid. Today, I choose the road less taken and hope it makes all the difference.

So I encourage you to at least peer outside your box.

  • What is something you have dreamed about doing but can’t even fathom it right now?

  • How can you go against the grain, swim upstream, start running in your own lane?

  • In what way do you need to start telling others your real truth like me telling people to their face "No, I’m not doing the doctoring thing. I'm a life coach now and I can help you more than before."

  • Where can you be Open-minded, Available, Freed?

If I can living outside the box of traditional medicine and the daily grind, YOU CAN LIVE YOUR DREAMS 100% too!

Next week will be part 3 of My Physician Life Coaching Eat. Pray. Love. Journey where I talk about the beauty and the beast of clarity, courage and confidence. Don’t miss it :)

Hey and if you want to talk, I’m here for ya. Click HERE to get set up or email me directly at

My Physician Life Coaching Eat. Pray. Love. Journey Part 1

I’m on month #5 of my physician life coaching Eat. Pray. Love. Journey. My travels have been to Lawrenceville, IL, Evansville, French Lick and Indianapolis so far instead of Rome, India or Bali but it has still been an adventure.

I never really saw myself as a “Non-traditionalist” or “Unorthodox” but actually, after much introspection…I am. The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost has always been my favorite poem. I love a good girl rocker against the establishment hit. I feel best leading the pack, kickin’ ass and takin’ names. I tend to hang out at the far side of the academic curve, be a quick start and feel all the feels. I do tend to go against the flow. Why could I not see this about myself years ago!?!

Much of my twenties was about trying to fall into line. Do the responsible adulting expectations stuff. I dressed like what I thought a female physician should dress like. I spoke how I thought a professional woman should speak. I went to church because that’s what good people do. When it came down to it, it never really felt right.

The last 4 1/2 years, I’ve started tuning into circumstances that ‘just didn’t feel right’ and instead of putting up with it or sticking with it, I pivot. Wearing stuffy medical shoes, nope. Censoring my language, hell no! Doing events out of obligation rather than compulsion, not no more. I can say without a doubt, I am now more myself. Unapologetically me.

Crazy. Maybe I’m crazy. Or wrong. Maybe I’m totally wrong. But if loving my life/myself is wrong, then I don’t want to be right :)

Next Sunday is Part 2 of my Eat. Pray. Love. Journey. I’ll talk about my scale of “total and utter bliss” being an entrepreneur to “absolutely scared shitless”

Tell me if you at all relate to this by leaving a comment here or on my IG feed @truthrxs

Wanna talk in person? I would freaking love to!! CLICK HERE to get scheduled for a call or email me directly at

If You Do Not Tell Them, They Will Not Know

I keep a saying taped to my desk, “IF YOU DON’T TELL THEM, THEY WILL NOT KNOW.”

It’s a reminder to me that even though I know all about my work, my business, my story that if I don’t share about this…no one will know and I won’t be able to help.

So, I came up with a great idea. Each holiday season I send out christmas cards. Why not send out business announcements to our friends and family telling them about what we are doing. I eventually talked Mr. Weisman into it and BAM…here is the letter…

Biz Announcement.png

Kinda ballsy, right? Well I decided to shift my thoughts because…

If I remain silent, someone might be suffering in silence.

If I stay nervous saying, “Oh I’m not working in the office or ED anymore. I’m a life coach.” Then someone who is desperate for a change will continue to be desperate.

If I don’t pronounce to the world, “I have changed my life!” Then the world will continue to expect the same from me.


Wanna talk in person? CLICK HERE to get scheduled for a call or email me at

When You Feel Lost, Start HERE…


“I’m just so lost” were her first words to me on a call. “I don’t know where to go or even start…”

She explained her scenario which unfortunately is very typical when I meet new clients…been in practice a few years, tells me about her child(ren), her attempts on self care, different things she has tried to manage, life events that out and out SUCK, and that she doesn’t know what to do next.

I let her get it all out then my question is…

What MUST be done right now?

She sits and thinks (I can subconsciously feel her wheels turning) and says, “Good question…I just don’t know.”

My response: Food, water, shelter, clothing

Because honestly, the only things that you MUST do is breathe, feed your kids and shower and brush your teeth on occasion.

I mean really think about it…there are only very few things that we MUST do. Going to work is optional. Putting up with toxic relationships, optional. Being involved in every meeting, opportunity, PTO meeting, community/church event, not required.

So let me ask you…

What MUST be done right now?

Next question for when you are lost and don’t know where to start is to complete this sentence…

I would be absolutely devastated if ______ was taken from my life.

At first, clients will tell me…the worst thing that could happen is they lose their job/license/position. Then I ask them, “Would that really be the worst thing?!?” After a laugh, many say, “No, actually that would be wonderful!”

But what would be devastating if you lost it? This helps you to focus on what is essential to keep in your life and around you.

Last thing to do when you are lost and don’t know where to start…

State facts about yourself

Write out your answers to these statements:

  • I have control of...

  • I absolutely need…

  • I want ...

  • I don't want ...

  • My perfect position/practice is ...

  • The options I have are...

  • I need to gather more information about...

  • The best ways I can take care of myself are...

  • I am more than what I do on a daily basis, I am…

Now that you have the writing juices flowing, try writing out “30 Reasons Why I am an Amazing Person”

Don’t give yourself an out if you only get 15. Keep pushing. Write it all down.

Here…I’ll be totally transparent and give you my 30 reasons why I’m an amazing Person/Doctor Coach from when I did this exact same exercise. I know keep the piece of paper close to look back on it whenever I start to doubt myself. I encourage you to keep yours close too!

  1. I truly care about helping others

  2. I understand fully where my people come from

  3. I am willing to share my personal experiences, successes and failures

  4. I have done a LOT of training, research, learning and seminars

  5. I network well to find great resources

  6. I am walking my talk

  7. I strive to deliver

  8. I surround myself with life minded women and men

  9. I lift up others

  10. I am not afraid to say, “I’m sorry” or “I didn’t do that well.”

  11. I can balance 10 things at once

  12. I take time for that person in that moment

  13. Through personal transformation, I realized I can self coach and therefore coach others

  14. I am empathetic

  15. I have a diverse range of skills, knowledge and talents

  16. I continue to move forward

  17. I send thank you messages/emails/cards

  18. I am a pusher

  19. I am a good communicator

  20. I dwell from a true place now

  21. I work SO hard for my people

  22. I have a caring heart

  23. I have healing hands

  24. I connect with people where they are and not make them feel dumb

  25. I am great at answering questions

  26. I offer perspective outside the box

  27. I am fierce

  28. I am doing my own work and dealing with my own shit

  29. I am a great speaker

  30. I give the best hugs

So, how you feel now? Hopefully better, less lost and ready to take on the world one step at a time.



When your exit plan doesn't deliver

As most of you know, I did a total plot change from graduation from residency in 2014 to now. My transition feels like the Family Circus cartoon where I have jumped, ran, hopped and skipped around to many places.

Here’s the summary: I was a full 1.0 FTE outpatient family medicine physician managing cradle to grave from newborn exams, nursing home visits, hospice home visits, school athletic physicals and everything in between. Then gave up a nursing home then rearranged my schedule to have a “full day off.” Next, tried going down to a 0.6 FTE working M-W-F but continued Q3wk call (we did eventually get some tremendous help with getting nursing support at the call center, HUGE relief). At the end of a 3 year contract, I walked away instead of resigning then transitioned to a rural Emergency Department working 8-12 twelve hour shifts a month. Most recently, I dropped the ED and started working from home with coaching, consulting and telemed.

And I’m sure that I’m not done yet as far as transitioning. So I’ve had several exit plans and several times where I have doubted myself and my decisions. So that’s the preface for this blog, “What do you do when your newer, happier path doesn’t seem to be working out!?!”

Here’s my thoughts and my counter-thoughts on digging into my own situation that I hope is helpful to yours!


“Holy shit, I’m not making close to the money I thought I would or previously did!”


Are the bills being paid?

Have you changed your spending habits?

Do you have a budget? Are you doing it?

How much is your time worth to you?

How much is this new schedule, freedom, availability worth?

How much more is your family growing in a loving place rather than avoiding mom?

What is joy and happiness worth in your life?

If it’s actual dollars not coming in, are you asking for clients or actually selling your products? Are you undercharging and overdelivering?


“I’m starting to feel the flickers of burnout again”


What about this feels similar to before?

Where in your life and practice have you slipped back into old habits that contributed to your burnout?

Did you really make changes or was it just a change of scenery?

In what areas do you need to make changes now?


“I’m somewhat happier but it’s not turned out like I thought it would.”


Are you focusing on the negative?

Identify where the new happiness is.

Did you have realistic expectations for your change?

Is more coming but you are being impatient?

Is it time to change again?

So a couple of options you have:

  1. Turn tail and go back. Return to what you were doing before

  2. Pivot to something new. Maybe an adjustment

  3. Pause. Look around and see what’s happening

  4. Continue forward. Stay the course and give it a bit more time

Sit with these options. What resonates with you? What turns you away?

We can seek guidance but ultimately no one can tell you your course to happiness in and with your life. So keep exploring, keep going and know that you are not alone!

If this sounds like something you want to talk more about…why don’t we CHAT.

Click HERE to get scheduled for a call or email me at

Recognizing the Dementors in your Life

Remember the last time you felt like all your joy and happiness had been sucked out of you? That my friend is a brush with a Dementor.

Yes, I’m a book dragon (not a book worm…too wimpy) and love the YA genre. So, the Harry Potter series hangs high on my top read list. (Wanna know more books that I gush on? Come find me on Goodreads. Would love to see what you read!)

‘Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope and happiness out of the air around them. Even Muggles feel their presence, though they can’t see them. Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory, will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself – soulless and evil. You’ll be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life.’ (excerpt from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban)

To learn more, here’s a great link from PotterMore

photo cred JKR/Pottermore Ltd. ™ Warner Bros

photo cred JKR/Pottermore Ltd. ™ Warner Bros

These dark creatures that consume human happiness, creating an ambiance of coldness, darkness, misery and despair. Because of their power to drain happiness and hope from humans, they have been set the duty of being guards at Azkaban, where they prevent the prisoners from having the will or ability to escape.

J.K. Rowling did an amazing job personifying exactly how I felt at my lowest of lows in the form of dementors. Being so drained of happiness, joy, purpose, satisfaction left me feeling empty, isolated and numb. In the medical world, we sometimes call this BURNOUT. Others refer to these types of feelings as the prison or pit of depression. However you term it….it’s suck-ville!

***First and foremost, if you feel so trapped/stuck/defeated that you are contemplating suicide, I implore you to TELL SOMEONE and FIND HELP. Studies are suggesting that around 40% of early career female physicians have had some suicidal thoughts.

So, if you are in this dark place that the only way out to you feels like ending your life, YOU ARE NOT ALONE and THERE ARE OTHER SOLUTIONS!!!

I will no longer stand by as a physician life coach and tiptoe around this issue. My friends, colleagues, peers ARE KILLING THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY FEEL THEY HAVE NO OTHER ALTERNATIVES. Physicians should have access to mental health resources and should be able to step forward unafraid. Because I feel so strongly about this…I will personally talk to any physician in this position.

Why do we get so squirmy in this situation? You know the “go to” answer, “If you are having suicidial thoughts, please go to your nearest emergency room for immediate evaluation” then we walk away and say to others, “well it’s handled now.” That feels like a cop-out to me.

I mean, I’ve been the ED provider that does the medical clearance for suicidal ideation and how is it typically handled…quick set of questions, quick exam, call in the mental health team to decide inpatient or outpatient treatment.

I believe my physician colleagues deserve more. So here’s my quick tips on how to help a colleague besides just rushing them to the ED:

  1. Provide a safe space and respect their trust in talking to you

  2. Help them name it. The “what” they are feeling, the circumstances that surround them.

  3. Acknowledge this is not their fault and not their forever reality. This can change.

  4. Anchor a support system (who else needs to be involved?)

  5. Contract for safety. Emphasize they WILL have to get immediate professional help but that you will not abandon them

  6. Support them in one small step where they can make a change or gain control (removing the possible ways (guns, drugs, etc) they have considered using for suiciding is a good one to start with. Next, deciding where to get help.)

Why is this so important…Because when a physician decides on suicide, there are no second attempts. We understand the body, we know how to get it done.

Went on a total rant there…but hey, it’s important. Ok back to to dementors…

Here’s the great news, just as Harry learned to banish Dementors using a patornius spell so can we stop up these emotional and physical energy leaks draining us dry. Here’s a visualization to use when you feel the dementors

  • Start by taking deep breaths. Breathe in for a 5 count and out for a 5 count. Pause at the end of your exhalation.

  • Keep doing this breathing cycle until you start to feel yourself relax or shift into a different feel.

  • Now, start visualize yourself in a bubble or shield. (I’m a child of a Star-Trek The Next Generation fan so my shield looks like the new USS Enterprise. Other examples I have heard of: a bubble of thick material, sphere of mirrors, network of energy. Whatever fits your fancy)

  • Your shield is surrounding your entire body and fits comfortably around you. Think about your shield as a complete protection, completed sealed around you (100% strength) See the color of your shield, sense the completeness of your shield for a few moments and feel the strength of your shield.

  • Start to check your shield. Any negativity coming at you is deflected of your shield. Anything friendly or positive gets to come through your shield to you.

  • Sit with how the shield feels like. (This will make it easy for you to bring it back into existence whenever you need it)

  • A few more breaths then drop your shield.

  • Expert tip #1: learn how to pull up your shield when you need it.

  • Expert tip #2: maintain your shield. If you perceive that there are any gaps, cracks or holes, just repair it by replacing the gap with new energy or mirrors.

    By having a protective shield, you can bring awareness to what you are feeling. This should next help you to identify what activity, action, person, task, or situation is the dementor. By getting really clear on what EXACTLY is pulling your emotional and physical energy can help you STOP THE SUCK!

    Let me know if you found anything in this blog helpful!

    I got your back!


Women in Medicine RISING

Today marks the date of the birthday of Elizabeth Blackwell, the first female physician in the U.S. Her journey is a fascinating one…in 1849, Dr. Blackwell became the first US licensed woman physician after having been allowed to attend medical school as a joke.

Her determination opened the door for the hundreds of thousands of female physicians who came after her.

We celebrate how far we have come as a society in empowering females to choose careers in medicine and recognize the progress we still must make to support the development and equality of women in medicine.

Female doctors are an integral part of our patient-centered healthcare system, yet today females only make up 1/3 of the physician workforce and paid on average 20k less.

During National Women Physicians Day, efforts are centered around:

  • honoring the physicians who paved the way for women in medicine

  • increasing awareness of the sacrifices and obstacles female physicians must overcome

  • inspiring the future generation of female physicians

  • pushing our society towards greater equality of the sexes within this field.

Happy National Women Physicians Day! Keep doing what you do!!

PS: Fun facts I wanted to share specifically around women in osteopathic medicine.

Andrew Taylor Still, MD, DO (Founder of Osteopathic medicine) encouraged women to attend the American School of Osteopathy, which opened in 1892. In five years, the number of women enrolled rose from six to 100.

In 1894, A.T. Still’s first graduating class contained five women. WOOP WOOP…DO power!

By 1908, 35% of all osteopathic physicians in the U.S. were women!

(Information from The Feminine Touch: Women in Osteopathic Medicine by Thomas A. Quinn, DO)

Story about My Med School Diploma

Bye Bye Negative Thought #11

Without my degree, I’m nothing

Recently, we did some major home repairs to our leaking basement (be ready for a whole other post about that craziness). But making lemons into lemonade…I got a new home office out of the deal!

As I was hanging up my diplomas, certifications and awards, the big one slipped. You know the “big one” because if your med school was like mine, they made sure that our diplomas were the biggest of the big mamas. The frame alone could throw out your back.

So as Big Bertha was falling from the floor, my initial reaction was, “Oh shhhhhhhhhiiiiitttttt, not that one!!!!”

I immediately took a breath, opened my eyes and picked her up to look her over.

“Whew-just a crack in the frame.”

But wait, why did I freak out over a piece of paper behind glass?

It’s just a piece of paper, right?!?

Well, right and wrong.

Yes, it is a piece of paper that I could probably pay a fee to have replaced by my alumna mater. Yes, there’s no magic that upon receiving this double heavy weight paper turned me into a goddess. Yes, even without it…I’m still Errin Weisman D.O.

But also, no. There is so much more that it represents: YEARS of sweat, turmoil, tears, tests, lost sleep, early mornings, long drives, missed events, my 20s, hundreds of encounters, evaluations, $$$. When I see this piece of paper, pride and accomplishment bubble up in me. It’s kinda my adult gold star, not gonna lie!

But yet, it’s still a piece of paper that will age and probably be throw away after my departure from this life.

As I have change the course of my medical practice, I come back often to a question my coach asked me that I pose to you…


Back in 2014, I mentioned my family, close relationships, etc but the one answer that came up in me was when I said, “I think if I lost my medical license. Yea, if that was gone, I would be totally upset.”

Flash forward now, I’ve really learned that my identity as healer goes far beyond a piece of paper or license number assigned to me. I will always be a doctor and I bet the same for you too, friend!

If you are struggling with your practice, your place in the world, what really is most dear to you…why don’t we talk? I would love to try and help you navigate your own answers. Click HERE for more deeds! Promise no selling or sleaze. Just colleague to colleague!

Stressed to the Max

Bye Bye Negative Thought #10

“I’Ve become ‘that’ person!”

Recently I was talking with a female colleague and she confessed to me, “Oh my god, I've become Dr. __!”

The person she described was a female attending during her residency training who was known for being the most berating and heartless attending in the program. She went on to tell me that she had promised herself years ago that she would never become what that attending was.

She sat sobbing because she'd come to a point in her life that she didn't even recognize herself anymore. She was absolutely stressed to the max—taking care of kids, aging parents, her practice and everything in between.

She had nothing left to give, it was showing and she was devastated.

Can you relate to this experience? Promising NEVER to be like that, work like that, say that and then catching yourself some time later…”Holy shit, I sound like___!”

But here’s the thing…you aren’t that person you promised not to be. You are only recognizing traits or patterns that you associate with that person.

So here’s the great news, this is not your permanent reality.

  • You don’t want to be mean and bitchy… can change that!

  • You don’t want to be exhausted and look 15 years older than you really are…a-maze-balls…we can’t turn back time, but you can change the future from this point forward

  • You want to start feeling more like yourself again and less like a mechanic robot version of you…wonderful…it’s gonna take some work but absolutely possible.

“How,” you ask?

Step 1: AWARENESS…you got that. You read this article and said, “Yep, I’m not who I want to be.”

Step 2: Hard core, in-depth, honest-to-God assessments into the status of:

  • The current external parts of your life

  • The current internal parts of you

  • Your boundaries

  • Your strengths and weakness

  • Your own self-awareness

  • How have you become the person you don’t want to be?

Step 3: Action around the future you desire and deserve:

  • What must the future be for you?

  • What would you like to attract into your life?

  • What makes you feel most alive/joyful/fulfilled?

  • What’s that thing you think about that is SOOOO amazing but you don’t share with anyone

Step 4: Get your booty movin’ (with the help of a great coach btw…wink wink). This is the part where the rubber meets the road. It’s also the place where most people don’t venture. They get clarity around what’s in their life, get courageous and start making plans but then *BOOM* fall flat on their face and make no ACTUAL changes.

Talking about being stressed out or burnt out can help some but true sustainable change only comes from a place of action.

If this sounds like something you are ALL IN for…why don’t we talk. Because I’m here to be an example and help. Click HERE for more deeds!

Let Us Be Doctors, Not Documentors

Bye Bye Negative Thought #9

“I’m so far behind that I’m just calling in sick to catch up!”

Have you done this?

Buried under a mountain of charts or paperwork that you alter your schedule and life to “catch up?”

Do you stay up after kids go to bed?

Go to the office early or on weekends?

Do you think, “God, I just want to stay caught up for once!!!???!!”

I’ll admit it…I’ve been there. Most weekends when I knew no one would be in the office, I would let myself in through the side door and worked like a mad woman for hours trying just to catch up.

That way on Monday morning, I could start without the weight of unfinished charts staring down on me. I would think, “I got to get this done so I’m not behind.”

Countless hours where spent (uncompensated, by the way) doing the work that just couldn’t get done during the work day because there was just not enough hours to take care of patients well AND document.

Well, sister in medicine…being behind on notes is NOT a personal character fault. You are not broken or inadequate! You are trapped in a system that is broken.

I believe that is absolutely unethical and unacceptable for this practice to continue. So I’m saying BYE BYE unrealistic expectations (and hoping you will too).

Instead of being told, “If you don’t get your notes done, you will be suspended,” groups/organizations should be supporting their physicians, unburdening them from non-clinical tasks and allowing them to do what we do best….BE A DOCTOR.

And that is EXACTLY what the research is saying too!

Recently, I gave a presentation at the Indiana Osteopathic Association’s Winter Conference in Indianapolis with my talk titled “Factors to Improve Physicians Lives” that was based on hearing Dr. Lotte N. Dyrbye, one of the nation’s leader in physician wellbeing, present at the Coalition for Physician Wellbeing 2018 Conference.

After doing research, here’s partially what I presented and what I gathered from Dr. Dyrbye and others work…

EXTERNAL National Factors to Improve Physician Lives

  1. Documentation Burden

    • In re to the clinical encounter: MUST be reduced and streamlined. (Billing requirements, quality reporting, test justification

    • In re to “Doctor-only” task MUST have clarity regarding which tasks are doctor essential

  2. EHR

    • In re to workflow: MUST be thoroughly vetted with all levels (especially physicians)

    • MUST evaluated for workforce implications PRIOR to their launch.

    • Because guess what…retrospective research shows Doctors weren’t just whining when EHRs were launched. Retrospectively, we were massively understaffed for the increased load burden that came

  3. Insurers

    • MUST be eliminated payers requirements to perform and document unnecessary elements of care to justify billing codes BUT THAT DO NOT contribute to good medical care

    • MUST develop a more efficient preapproval process for tests, medications, and procedures for patients

  4. MOC requirements

    • MUST better integrated with standard CME requirements, work to decrease burden and change the pay structure

    • (personally I would like to see MOC go all together)

  5. State licensing boards

    • MUST eliminate questions on licensing applications regarding diagnosis or treatment for mental health conditions

    • Consider a National Clearinghouse

  6. National organizations (ie The National Institutes of Health)

    • MUST become involved and allocate funds to support research evaluating the implications of clinician well-being for the care delivery system and determining how to improve the work-life of health care professionals.

I have much more to this presentation (but this is getting long)!

If you haven’t seen this NAM Discussion Paper yet, I highly encourage you to check it out HERE: Burnout Among Health Care Professionals: A Call to Explore and Address This Underrecognized Threat to Safe, High-Quality Care. You can get this and more information. It was my go to source for my talk.

So, all in all friend, KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT! Awareness is starting to come forth that the burdens we have been shouldering is ungodly. Change is coming and I going to keep pushing.

If you help some help with what you are struggling with, book a free NO SLEEZE-NO SLIME-NO SELLING colleague-to-colleague call with me today HERE. Because sometimes it helps to have a fellow colleague who understands!

Lessons from Oil Wells and Potholes

Several months ago I heard another fellow, female physician coach, Dr. Katrina Ubell talking about oil wells and I got really excited about being an Indiana girl who grew up around this industry. Her point smacked me upside the head that I wanted to share my version with you.

There are times in our lives were we start a project. For this example, start digging. We got along, dig dig dig until suddenly, BAM, we hit something hard, new and tough. This challenge is like hitting a new level of bedrock where the soil profile changes. No more top-soil, it just got real!

We all like to think that we would preserver and pick away at this SUPER CHALLENGING layer. But a majority of the time, we throw our hands up and say, “Enough. I tried hard enough. Moving on.”

Now don’t get me wrong, there are times in our lives that we must make changes and “the hole you are digging” just isn’t for me. But where it is a problem is retrospectively looking at the trail behind you, is there a plethora of potholes? Are you giving up too soon? Are you picking the wrong place to start digging? Did the dig or project really not mean that much to you?

So instead, I advise changing your life of one filled with potholes to one with a few oil wells. (Stay with me on this one.)

When (not if) we get to those hard place in our lives after we've been digging through the soft mud, the hard bedrock can be a great refining process. It challenges you to question, “Do I continue?”

It also shows you that you must approach this situation differently than all your previous experience.

Instead of using the same tool or shovel, you must upgrade to a different tool in order to proceed. That little shovel you were using before has served you well to this point so be grateful but know you are ready for some more power. Same goes for your thought patterns or will power, they have served you to this point. But now is time to uplevel your mental game.

You now need the pulsating chisel drill, (I pick this one because recently I took up some tile in my basement and felt like a He-Woman using it. Also a must-have for tile removal but I diverge…) or jackhammer or upgrade to a dozer. In other words, you must invest some serious time, effort and money into new tools to get you through this challenge and onto the desired result below.  

Now, I know what you might be thinking, “Errin, I have been through Hell! I have been challenged and I have made it through.”

Friend, you are tough! But I want to show you that through all the layers of your life current or in the future:

  • Maybe it’s time for a different approach that isn’t so draining?

  • Maybe you need new sharp tools that are more effective?

  • Maybe you don’t need to struggle alone by asking for help instead of working alone?

If you’re past is full or potholes and you are ready to go deep into oil drilling, it’s about shifting your mental game, realizing what you really want and setting yourself up to succeed.

If you are working away at your current oil well but are dead-dog tired, now is the time to upgrade your equipment/skills, consider some different approaches and get help from others!

If you want to talk more, schedule a colleague to colleague call HERE because you got this and I got your back!

Should I Quit Medicine?

Lately, I’ve been talking with a lot of colleagues who are contemplating quitting medicine all together.

You know…that imagined situation of throwing your stethoscope across the room and yelling, “I’m leaving and I’m not coming back!!”

Well, I don’t condemn leaving or changing jobs. But, I suggest the following:

  • Just STOP/get away and take some deep breaths

  • Don’t throw shit (you’re not Bobby Knight)

  • Think through what’s happening in your head and around you that is triggering this response

  • Call a close friend, partner or coach (a-hem…me) to yelp for help

After you have done this, look over this quick, one page worksheet and consider these questions.

I absolutely understand where you are coming from so I want to offer my help as you navigate your situation. Because it's not crazy to think about making changes but it is CRAY CRAY if you don’t do it from a good state of mind.

As always, I’m here to talk. Hit me up HERE

What happens when you stop the busy-ness

Bye Bye Negative Thought #8:

“I have to stay busy otherwise…”

Are you the type of person who can’t not be busy? If you are watching TV, you’re also doing something else. If you are a passenger during a car ride, you also have to be reading a book or doing a secondary activity. You can’t just sit by the pool or ocean and sit. Even in the shower, you are running through a list of to-dos or call backs you need to do while putting the actions of showering on autopilot.

Well…that’s me or I should say, was me.

I naturally keep myself multi-tasking in about 3 different things at one time. And I’m good at it. I can answer a page, cook dinner and listen to my oldest do his reading homework at one time.


When I started getting intentional, I realized that I wasn’t doing anyone any good service when I multi-tasking. I only half listen or partially do.

So that leads me to think…why keep yourself busy? Well…I realized about myself:

  1. When I was “crazy busy” then I was proving to myself that I was doing all the right things

  2. If I kept myself busy, I didn’t have any more mental capacity to see what’s happening under the surface or where my brain would switch to thoughts next.

  3. By being busy, then that meant I was productive and if I wasn’t productive then I wasn’t enough. What was my purpose? If I wasn’t doing something, then who was I.

I was clogging up my bandwidth with activity so things (like emotions and feelings) were suppressed so then unconsciously I didn’t have to deal with me.

When’s the last time you sat with yourself in silence and stillness?

That’s my challenge to you. Stop the busy-ness. Sit in silence and stillness and see what comes up.

I’m here for you if you want to talk this through. Schedule HERE for a no selling, no commitment, no craziness call. Because I truly want to help!!

“I’m happy for you!” (..."but I’m not happy for myself")

Bye bye Negative thought #7:

“I’m happy for you!” (fake a smile then think..but I’m not happy for myself)

How do you feel when a colleague is really kicking ass and taking names?

When she gets a research grant or lands a prestigious fellowship?

When she gets promoted?

When she takes a sabbatical, goes part-time, or starts her own clinic so she can create the schedule that works for her family?
Really dig into how you feel when people around you succeed - or when they achieve what you secretly long for.

Jealous? Angry? Upset? Defeated? ...and maybe a little bit happy for them?

I want you to reframe this negative thought, where you’re telling the person you’re happy for them while secretly feeling so sad about your own situation.

I’d love for you to reframe it to: “I’m happy for you. I want what you have or want to do what you’re doing. Can you help me?”

When you begin to leave behind your own narrow view of what’s possible - in your career, in medicine, in your life - amazing things can start to happen.

I want you to know that you can create anything or have anything that anyone else has.

Will it take hard work? Yes.
Will it come at a cost? Hell yes.

Will it be worth it? Absofuckinglutely!

When you want to create something new, start with a clean slate in your brain.
Admit what you REALLY want.

Even if it sounds crazy.

Even if your brain is like, “That will never happen! That’s not even possible! There are not even medical jobs AVAILABLE like that!”

Just put the thoughts on hold for now and admit to yourself what you really want.

Visualize it in detail.

What would your day look like? How would you feel? What would you have time and energy to do that you’re not doing now?

There is actual medical research on the fact that visualization works. Doctors who performed an advanced procedure without visualizing it first were about 50% effective. But doctors who visualized the procedure in advance were 90% effective.

If you spend 5-10 minutes every day visualizing the life you want,  you might just be astounded at how opportunities begin to present themselves.

And in the meantime - ask for help!

If you’re ready for some help creating the life you’re dreaming of, book your free colleague-to-colleague call today HERE.

Special Holiday Blessings to YOU!

Since 2009, I’ve been doing a yearly holiday card with pictures and an update on what Team Weisman did for the past year. But more than spending hundreds of dollars on postage, I love going through my address list. Because believe it or not, I say a special thought or prayer for every person and family on that list as I address their card.

I did the same thing this year with my email list. As of December 2018, I have 93 of you out there who receive email from me. Guess what…you got included in my practice of sending you a special thank you!

My heart is to serve those that want my help and I’m forever grateful for you.

If you can, please help me to reach more in 2019. Tell your friends and family how this Wild Weisman Woman Doctor has helped you :)

Holiday Blessings!

Dr. Errin

PS: Here’s this year’s Team Weisman card.

xmas 2018.jpg
xmas 2018 back.jpg

I can’t because I’m stuck here... (pssst you are never stuck)

Bye Bye Negative thought #6:

“I can’t ___ because I’m stuck here.”

I can’t take vacation (I don’t have time).

I can’t leave this position (I have nowhere else to go).

I can’t ask for what I really want (they’ll never say yes).

I can’t take time off (people will think badly of me).

I can’t because I’m stuck here.

These are all just beliefs coming out of your head with no real substantial grounding. These beliefs aren’t serving you and aren’t helping you create your best life. So it is time for them TO GO!

Because the truth is: you are never stuck. There are workarounds for your situation and any situation. You just have to be open to explore and get out of the damn “safe” box.

When I was working at the clinic and I had vacation time, I didn’t take it. I believed there was just too much work all the time or if I was gone, things would go to hell. But the real truth is that if you have a good staff and processes in place AND your mind is not working against you, you can leave and patients get taken care of, emergencies get handled, and you come back better! So much better than when you left!

My business coach, Susan Hyatt, leads retreats for women all over the world. I used to DIE of jealousy looking at her pics from Italy, Greece, Ireland, Thailand and more. Literally, I had to block her from my facebook feed for awhile because it hurt SO much to see these amazing pictures and what I had missed out because of “I can’ts.”

I used to think, I can’t go to Italy. I’m stuck here. I can’t have experiences because I’m adulting right now. I have young kids. I have to make the income. I have patients who need me. I have colleagues who will hate me.

There are so many reasons why you shouldn’t or couldn’t do that amazing thing you’re longing to do.

But here’s the flip side, and why you should say YES to experiences: because deep down something about this, you are desiring. You need to lean in when you feel this. Why? Because that’s were the magic of life happens! Not a big “woo-woo, dragons aren’t real” kind of person. Well, I tried not to be either. I pushed back against anything that couldn’t be explained logically. But guess what happened when I start to open up and say, “why not” or “what if…”


Instead of telling myself I can’t do something, now I start asking myself how I can find creative ways to go on adventures.

I go to a conference and it’s a business write-off!

I take Fridays off to go hiking and kayaking (and sometimes bringing my kids along for the ride.)

I can do whatever I want with my weekends because now that I don’t spend half the weekend recovering from the sucky work week.

Instead of saying “I can’t,” I say, “I can, I just need to figure out the details.”

What should you say yes to?