When You Feel Lost, Start HERE…


“I’m just so lost” were her first words to me on a call. “I don’t know where to go or even start…”

She explained her scenario which unfortunately is very typical when I meet new clients…been in practice a few years, tells me about her child(ren), her attempts on self care, different things she has tried to manage, life events that out and out SUCK, and that she doesn’t know what to do next.

I let her get it all out then my question is…

What MUST be done right now?

She sits and thinks (I can subconsciously feel her wheels turning) and says, “Good question…I just don’t know.”

My response: Food, water, shelter, clothing

Because honestly, the only things that you MUST do is breathe, feed your kids and shower and brush your teeth on occasion.

I mean really think about it…there are only very few things that we MUST do. Going to work is optional. Putting up with toxic relationships, optional. Being involved in every meeting, opportunity, PTO meeting, community/church event, not required.

So let me ask you…

What MUST be done right now?

Next question for when you are lost and don’t know where to start is to complete this sentence…

I would be absolutely devastated if ______ was taken from my life.

At first, clients will tell me…the worst thing that could happen is they lose their job/license/position. Then I ask them, “Would that really be the worst thing?!?” After a laugh, many say, “No, actually that would be wonderful!”

But what would be devastating if you lost it? This helps you to focus on what is essential to keep in your life and around you.

Last thing to do when you are lost and don’t know where to start…

State facts about yourself

Write out your answers to these statements:

  • I have control of...

  • I absolutely need…

  • I want ...

  • I don't want ...

  • My perfect position/practice is ...

  • The options I have are...

  • I need to gather more information about...

  • The best ways I can take care of myself are...

  • I am more than what I do on a daily basis, I am…

Now that you have the writing juices flowing, try writing out “30 Reasons Why I am an Amazing Person”

Don’t give yourself an out if you only get 15. Keep pushing. Write it all down.

Here…I’ll be totally transparent and give you my 30 reasons why I’m an amazing Person/Doctor Coach from when I did this exact same exercise. I know keep the piece of paper close to look back on it whenever I start to doubt myself. I encourage you to keep yours close too!

  1. I truly care about helping others

  2. I understand fully where my people come from

  3. I am willing to share my personal experiences, successes and failures

  4. I have done a LOT of training, research, learning and seminars

  5. I network well to find great resources

  6. I am walking my talk

  7. I strive to deliver

  8. I surround myself with life minded women and men

  9. I lift up others

  10. I am not afraid to say, “I’m sorry” or “I didn’t do that well.”

  11. I can balance 10 things at once

  12. I take time for that person in that moment

  13. Through personal transformation, I realized I can self coach and therefore coach others

  14. I am empathetic

  15. I have a diverse range of skills, knowledge and talents

  16. I continue to move forward

  17. I send thank you messages/emails/cards

  18. I am a pusher

  19. I am a good communicator

  20. I dwell from a true place now

  21. I work SO hard for my people

  22. I have a caring heart

  23. I have healing hands

  24. I connect with people where they are and not make them feel dumb

  25. I am great at answering questions

  26. I offer perspective outside the box

  27. I am fierce

  28. I am doing my own work and dealing with my own shit

  29. I am a great speaker

  30. I give the best hugs

So, how you feel now? Hopefully better, less lost and ready to take on the world one step at a time.