“I’m just so lost” were her first words to me on a call. “I don’t know where to go or even start…”
She explained her scenario which unfortunately is very typical when I meet new clients…been in practice a few years, tells me about her child(ren), her attempts on self care, different things she has tried to manage, life events that out and out SUCK, and that she doesn’t know what to do next.
I let her get it all out then my question is…
What MUST be done right now?
She sits and thinks (I can subconsciously feel her wheels turning) and says, “Good question…I just don’t know.”
My response: Food, water, shelter, clothing
Because honestly, the only things that you MUST do is breathe, feed your kids and shower and brush your teeth on occasion.
I mean really think about it…there are only very few things that we MUST do. Going to work is optional. Putting up with toxic relationships, optional. Being involved in every meeting, opportunity, PTO meeting, community/church event, not required.
So let me ask you…
What MUST be done right now?
Next question for when you are lost and don’t know where to start is to complete this sentence…
I would be absolutely devastated if ______ was taken from my life.
At first, clients will tell me…the worst thing that could happen is they lose their job/license/position. Then I ask them, “Would that really be the worst thing?!?” After a laugh, many say, “No, actually that would be wonderful!”
But what would be devastating if you lost it? This helps you to focus on what is essential to keep in your life and around you.
Last thing to do when you are lost and don’t know where to start…
State facts about yourself
Write out your answers to these statements:
I have control of...
I absolutely need…
I want ...
I don't want ...
My perfect position/practice is ...
The options I have are...
I need to gather more information about...
The best ways I can take care of myself are...
I am more than what I do on a daily basis, I am…
Now that you have the writing juices flowing, try writing out “30 Reasons Why I am an Amazing Person”
Don’t give yourself an out if you only get 15. Keep pushing. Write it all down.
Here…I’ll be totally transparent and give you my 30 reasons why I’m an amazing Person/Doctor Coach from when I did this exact same exercise. I know keep the piece of paper close to look back on it whenever I start to doubt myself. I encourage you to keep yours close too!
I truly care about helping others
I understand fully where my people come from
I am willing to share my personal experiences, successes and failures
I have done a LOT of training, research, learning and seminars
I network well to find great resources
I am walking my talk
I strive to deliver
I surround myself with life minded women and men
I lift up others
I am not afraid to say, “I’m sorry” or “I didn’t do that well.”
I can balance 10 things at once
I take time for that person in that moment
Through personal transformation, I realized I can self coach and therefore coach others
I am empathetic
I have a diverse range of skills, knowledge and talents
I continue to move forward
I send thank you messages/emails/cards
I am a pusher
I am a good communicator
I dwell from a true place now
I work SO hard for my people
I have a caring heart
I have healing hands
I connect with people where they are and not make them feel dumb
I am great at answering questions
I offer perspective outside the box
I am fierce
I am doing my own work and dealing with my own shit
I am a great speaker
I give the best hugs
So, how you feel now? Hopefully better, less lost and ready to take on the world one step at a time.